How I stopped Being a Hater.

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“I’m jealous…That’s not fair!” That really came out of my mouth. Like a toddler having a tantrum. Rob was calling to tell me some great news about someone and those gross words came bubbling out.

“Uh….Ok. Well, I’m really happy for them and I was just sharing with you. I won’t share that kind of stuff if that’s how you’re gonna respond.

“No. No no no…I’m sorry….I was being honest about my initial thoughts and I should not have said that. No, I’m happy for them. I am.”


Normally I would have gone with the MUCH more honorable thing and kept that mess under wraps inside of my head. Butchyaknow…. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Mm hmmm. Not pretty.

I wanted to be happy for them. I really did. What was wrong with me?? I’d always heard that the goodness of God was like a river, not a pond. That there’s a never ending, unlimited supply of goodness to go around. So why was my first response filled with the notion that there wasn’t enough blessing for us all? And why wasn’t my reaction filled with excitement for them?

After we hung up, I straight up told God: “Lord pleeeease help me. I want to be happy and kind and loving and glad for other people’s successes. All the time. First response. I don’t want to be a hater!”

Acting like His normal Self, of course, the next morning these verses were included in the day’s Bible reading plan:

If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom.

Amen.  It went on to say:

For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.

‭‭Eeesh, that hurt. But then:

But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. ~James‬ ‭3:13-18‬ 

So you’re telling me there’s a chance.

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What I was hearing was that I had not been filling myself with God’s wisdom, but with jealous, worldly wisdom. I wasn’t walking in God’s ways, but my own. And according to Mary J. we don’t need no hateration OR holleration in this dancery.

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Mary J. said it: no haters!


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The Dancery is real, people. Except it’s “Dance Soirée”. But who’s keeping track?

What’s a dancery, anyway? In my world, the dancery is where God has enough blessing flowing for everyone. It’s where I’m humble, kind and generous, planting seeds of peace. No jealousy allowed, because it stops the flow. It’s where I put on my empathy hat and, on purpose, feel the excitement that others might be feeling when great things happen for them. That takes humility. And sincerity. But that’s what I decided in my heart to do. Telling myself what to do and then doing it is powerful. And God gives us the how- to.

“Thieves are jealous of each other’s loot, but the godly are well rooted and bear their own fruit.” ~Proverbs 12:12 

According to Proverbs 12:12, when I’m busy staying in my own lane, producing my own results, well rooted in who God has made me to be…it makes it a lot easier to look around and become thrilled about someone else’s success.

So…haters gon’ hate. I’m just not going to be one of them. Bye, Hater!

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 If you’ve ever said goodbye to the hater in you, how did you do it? Comment below-I want to hear your story!